


#SaveDan

by Sherlock_And_Me



Series: The Devil is in the Detail [3]
Category: Lucifer (Comic), Lucifer (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, Self-Mutilation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-05-24 08:02:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14950769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlock_And_Me/pseuds/Sherlock_And_Me
Summary: Dan Espinoza has a wonderful life (and by wonderful I mean hellish, are we sure he's not already in hell?)***Characters will be added when they decide to show up, lazy characters***





	1. Fear

Detective Dan Espinoza (aka Agent Espinoza and current protector of the Mind Stone), was not entirely sure how it was possible to have 5 layovers on his plane trip back to L.A. from one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s secret bases, but he suspected a certain red-headed spider had a hand in it.

But she couldn’t be mad, could she? They weren’t a, you know, thing. Were they?

When he questioned who authorized his return flight, the no-name low level S.H.I.E.L.D agent, whose sole job appeared to be sitting behind a bullet proof glass window and sliding small objects through a one inch slot, told Dan not to discuss said plane tickets, because they did not exist and neither technically did Dan.

“Se-cret tickets,” wheezed out the no-name agent, as he held onto his end of the plane tickets a minute too long, forcing Dan to engage in a brief battle of tug-of-war.

As Espinoza looked at the greasy finger marks left on the tickets he wondered if they ever let the poor man out. Even though the opening was small, it certainly stank like he hadn’t bathed in weeks. Dan had to practically leap away to escape the voluminous sweaty heat that emanated from within.

As Dan started to leave, the no-name agent all but smashed his face against the glass to watch him go, which honestly made it really hard for Dan to concentrate as he tried to identify where the cameras were in the hallway (he couldn’t find any of them).

Before he could get too far away, two lab coat wearing scientists walked by causing Dan to slide into the darkest shadow of the hallway and hold his breath. Luckily, they didn’t appear to notice him standing there; only the bulbous eyes of the man behind the glass never left his form. But even after the lab coats rounded the corner, Dan hesitated before starting up again.

Maybe Natasha didn’t like the perfume he bought her? Dan didn’t recall smelling the vanilla coffee with a hint of white flowers that was Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium in the small poorly lit office he just exited.

He is not even entirely sure what possessed him to purchase the perfume in the first place. It’s just that one of his and Black Widow’s monthly check-ins happened to fall on Valentine’s day and Natasha had picked an upscale restaurant as the meet-up (purely by chance Dan was sure). So he thought it would be nice to get the red-head something. 

He had tried asking Maria Hill what Natasha’s favorite flowers were, and it was like he had just confessed that he and Nick Fury had a secret love child and spent every third Thursday taking salsa lessons together. Dan had been written up for inappropriate conduct and sent to the psychologist for his trouble. 

So the weekend before the meeting, after having been forced to walk through every store in the mall with his daughter Trixie for the last eleven and a half hours, Dan snagged the black perfume bottle on display in a fit of madness and had the girl behind the register wrap it up for him.

Natasha hadn’t even acknowledged the gift when Dan passed it to her over the Filet Mignon, she just kept going through the mission debrief: ‘keep track of everyone who has relations with Lucifer – Yes ALL of them, create scenarios to test Amenadiel’s powers or lack of powers (depending on what day of week it is) – No Dan, it’s not ‘mean’, it’s your job. Dr Selvig has a new device to test the Mind Stone… OK! OK! You don’t hav – yes, last time was an unholy disaster- Are y- Are you crying?’

That was several months ago and Natasha had worn the perfume in every meeting they had together after that. AND there was that one night in Budapest after that quick mission that involved rescuing Tibetan Mastiff puppies…

Dan’s musings were only interrupted by the wet hacking cough of the man trapped behind the glass causing him to spring down the hallway, only pausing to avoid other S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents and cameras.

A whole platoon of guards passed by him without a second glance which had Dan wondering if he had some untapped espionage ability – and wouldn’t Natasha be impressed by that?- or if he should be calling up their C.O. to turn them in. 

The caliber of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents had dropped significantly since the attack of New York and everything that had followed. ‘Well, at least they aren’t Nazis,’ started turning up as a phrase to justify all sorts of behavior. 

Not that he would ever tell this to Lucifer, or else he would never hear the end of it, but sometimes Dan preferred to work with the winged ex-hell residents, Gaudium and Spera, who served as Coulson’s personal assistants (full-time basis for Gaudium and as-needed for Spera). They, at least, were easy to understand, everything they did was because of some primal demonic desire, and they knew the best Pope jokes. Humans, especially the recently resurrected or, God-er-Goddess forbid, the Charlotte followers were just plain weird.

Oh no, Charlotte. Dan couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea that the Goddess of Creation was gone forever. As terrifying and awe-inspiring she was at everything *cough* sex *cough* he always knew exactly where he stood with her. She was quick to praise everything she liked about Dan and told him, in detail, exactly what she wanted (him) and when (now). 

Maybe Dan shouldn’t have left out all of his, ah, liaisons with Charlotte in his monthly meetings with Natasha. But she had to know, right? She’s freaking Black Widow! 

Dan looked at his watch and sighed, but leaving the base was slow going, as he stepped on every fifth non-consecutive black tile to the tune of “Staying Alive”. This was apparently the only way to avoid the base’s cameras. Dan also had to stay perfectly still in hopes no passing Agents could see him, since his mission parameters stated he had to remain undetected and the bare hallways contained absolutely no alcoves or unlocked closets to hid in. He didn’t like to boast, but he was pretty sure he was nailing this practically impossible task. It was like he was invisible! 

(Daniel Espinoza was not, in fact, invisible, no matter how still he stood. The other agents just pretended not to see him out of pity since the “Bautista Hop Exercise” was usually reserved as a hazing ritual for green Level One Agents. (No one is quite sure where the name of the exercise came from, and if you asked Coulson, he would just smile and reply ‘you wouldn’t understand, it would go over your head’). 

Dan also avoided zero of the bases cameras as every leap and statuesque pose was recorded, declassified, and sent to the general hub for casual viewing for any member of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Don’t EVER underestimate a woman’s scorn, especially if said woman is a master spy, assassin, martial arts expert, and whose first name spells ‘ah, Satan’ backwards. (Ironically, Dan will become the only living person on Earth that can personally confirm that it’s better to be on the Devil’s bad side than Black Widow’s.))

After finally leaving the base while wearing the standard superhero civilian disguise (hoodie with ball cap), Dan spent his taxi ride to the airport contemplating the crisscross pattern his flight would take him. The plane rides involved back-tracking not once, but twice. In fact, the arrival for flight one and four appeared to be the same airport…

As he sat down in the middle seat of the middle aisle of a Boeing 747, Dan still held out hope that the plane tickets were an annoying but not overtly malicious administrative error. But that was before two over-weight passengers wearing, “I got sauced” T-Shirts with BBQ stained fingers sat on either side of him. 

“This is crazy!” Dan shouted suddenly crushed into less than half of the plane's seat. The 300lb man settling in next him frowned in annoyance, but that quickly changed to concern as Dan fumbled for his phone muttering about ‘calling her’ and saying unintelligible phrases ‘it’s not like I could say no to an actual deity’.

Dan held out his phone in front of him, not noticing the flight attendant motioning to put it away, and took several deep breaths.

He’ll call her and it will be fine, he thought, and I can ask her about this damn mission. How exactly do they expect me to find the devil anyways? (And honestly, wouldn’t life be so much easier if Lucifer wasn’t around for a while?) S.H.I.E.L.D. should be spending all their resources on finding Thor and Loki. Something about knowing Loki was out there doing fuck knows with no one even aware that he was alive created a pit in Dan’s stomach. That – that was going to bite Dan in the ass somehow.

Two rings later, Natasha Romanov’s melodic voice played through the phone:

“If you have this number, you know who you are calling, but-,” she purred through the recording before sliding into an icy tone, “If you happen to be the clueless agent with an obsession with pancakes and an inabil-ity-” she snapped the word so hard Dan’s whole body went ridged –“to keep a Goddess’s tongue out of your mouth, know that I am the one behind you, standing by your shoulder, just out of view, ready to strike the moment you least expect it. There is nowhere on this planet you can hide.” 

She slipped back into a pleasant self satisfied tone, “You know what do after the tone.” BEEP

Dan stared at his phone. He could feel himself hyperventilating, but he just couldn’t seem to get enough air. The two bodies next to him pressed in, trapping him. A tap on his shoulder –

“Aaaaackk,” Dan screeched twisting in his chair, throwing his phone at his attacker. 

Oh, shit.

A less than amused flight attendant, who had been trying to get Dan to put his phone away for the last two minutes, stood in the aisle with a red mark on his face and a phone with a cracked screen by his feet.

The rest of the plane had gone silent after the strange pterodactyl-like cry resounded through the flight cabin. 

“What the fuck was that?” someone called from the back, while the people near Dan looked at him like he was scum and/or insane. 

‘Holy shit balls, holy shit balls, holy shit balls, oh holy shit balls,’ Dan couldn’t stop thinking while failing to come up with any sort of plausible explanation besides, ‘Hey, at least I’m not a Nazi.’

***

Thank Lucifer Netflix saved the day! But who is going to save Dan?


	2. Shame

The first person Dan Espinoza called after the handcuffs were removed and he got his (cracked) phone back from the annoyed T.S.A. officer was Chloe Decker, his ex-wife. (Luckily, S.H.I.E.L.D. still had some pull and even though Dan had to spend the plane ride handcuffed to a chair, he was able to get a direct flight back to L.A. They even gave him his gun back at the baggage claim!).

“I haven’t heard anything, but-” Chloe said quietly in the phone before cutting herself off. 

Her voice was rough and thick. Dan had a flashback to the worse part of their marriage, right before their separation, when Chloe used to spend all night crying and all day silent and cold. She would be at the same precinct as Dan acting completely indifferent, as if everyone couldn’t see the red rimmed eyes or hear the tightness in her voice. Dan winced when he remembered how much of a tool he had been and all the words he should’ve said. He hated the thought of ever bringing her more pain, yet- 

He had a job to do.

“What is it? I need to know Chloe,” Dan pressed while striding purposefully out of the airport to look for a cab. “Hell, this could affect global security or-or – Oh, fuck, do we even know how this affects Hell? Could he be there? That’s where he always said he would go if he di-”

He clicked his mouth shut before his rambling got worse. Dan sometimes wondered what would happen if one day he just sat down and really thought about his life. Best not to tempt fate, the more sensible part of his brain would say, and then he would move on.

“You know everything I do,” Chloe replied before sighing into the phone. “I just- I just don’t know what to think anymore.” There was a pause as she moved her phone to the other ear. “I was investigating a murder with him, Dan, and he kept all of Charlotte’s involvement a secret from me.”

Dan could hear Chloe’s voice harden as she continued.

“Do you think he would have even told us what was going on if weren’t on the pier next to him when it all went down?” She asked quickly and angrily, not even pausing a moment to let Dan answer.

“Charlotte was a danger to everyone including-” Chloe’s voice cracked and all of her fury left in a whoosh. “-including himself, and he didn’t even tell me. I-I hope he is OK, but part of me – He’s the devil, am I stupid to worry?”

“No, no, Chloe, you’re not,” Dan was quick to reassure her, waving down a taxi at the same time. “We’ll find him. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s on it now. I’m heading to LUX as we speak.”

“OK,” Chloe said softly, but with resolve slowly creeping back into her voice. “But if you find out anything, either way, I want to know Dan. Promise me you’ll tell me.”

“I will,” Dan promised. 

He vowed to himself, that no matter how long it took or what he had to do - he could only imagine the struggles he might have to go through to finish this task- he’d find the damned devil.

***

LUX was not empty like he thought it would be. Dan crept through the shadows (he was getting good at this not being seen thing) and watched various cleaning crews and delivery men clean out a shattered piano and replace it with an identical one.

Dan froze as he saw Linda of all people wheel herself out of the elevator. She didn’t see him as she started chatting up a nursing aid that was waiting for her. The young man pushed her out of LUX and Dan could hear Linda’s laugh dwindle away.

He was torn.

He had his orders and his promise to Chloe, but he desperately wanted to follow her. That woman knew how to keep secrets…

The elevator doors were still open so Dan shook himself and slide in before they could close. Later, he told himself.

As the elevator rose to the penthouse, Dan puzzled on the delivery of the new piano. Who would have ordered it? Maze didn’t work for Lucifer anymore, Amenadiel wouldn’t know how, and Linda should be recovering from her bout with Charlotte not buying a $50K baby grand piano.

Dan’s stomach sank and Chloe’s disheartened face swam to the forefront of his mind. Part of him already knew the answer. But what asshole would be that self-centered…

AHHRRGGGH

The pained scream jolted Dan out of his thoughts. He held his gun up as he looked around the empty elevator.

AHHHRRRRGGGH

It was coming from above him and getting worse. He pointed his gun at the doors and readied himself for anything…. except for what was actually in the penthouse.

There was a knife, and blood, and Lucifer. But nothing else made sense to Dan. There was a puddle of blood on the floor, but no one else in the penthouse. The sunlight was bright and illuminated, illuminated- Dan’s police and S.H.I.E.L.D. training kicked in and he scanned the room, noticing the trays of food, broken glass, and flowers, but even with his experience his mind skidded over the details of the devil in front of him.

Wings, part of Dan added helpfully. 

Lucifer’s slicked back hair was askew, he was panting, and Dan could see beads of sweat dripping down the devil’s exposed chest since the robe he was wearing was barely being held up by its tie. One arm bent oddly, straining towards his back, and there was a glint of a knife.

WINGS, Dan’s mind yelled louder. 

Yes, there were wings. Gorgeous, white, and nearly fluorescent wings filled up the apartment. One draped over the bar and the other trailed down on the floor. 

Lucifer stood, his back arched into a near impossible curve, as one foot braced against a bar stool, one hand held the base of a wing awkwardly outwards, and the hand that held the knife struggled to connect with the base point of the wing. Blood gushed from his back as he hacked away at the wing with the curved knife. 

“What?” Dan screeched, his gun pointed to the floor when he was unable to identify an enemy. “What?!?”

Lucifer turned towards the noise and his pained expression and crazed eyes morphed into delight at the sight of the detective/S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, which more than anything he had seen, caused Dan to take a step back in fear.

“Ah, Daniel!” Lucifer gushed, straightening up and shrugging his robe back into place, the mangled top of the wing hidden behind his back. “Perfect timing!”

The Devil’s grin stretched wide over his face even as the sheen of sweat remained. He stepped toward Dan even as the detective took another step back. His blood soaked arm held out the curved demon blade in clear invitation.

‘Nope,’ Dan’s brain went before deciding this would be a perfect time to do a complete reboot. He grasped at semblance of realty left and focused on the only thing that really mattered.

“Have you called Chloe?!” Dan yelped embarrassingly.

Lucifer turned away in what looked like – if Dan didn’t know better – shame.

The celestial being refused to look at Dan as he fiddled with the knife absently and he looked down at his own wings in disgust. Dan could not even begin to guess what thoughts were going through his head. Lucifer had never looked more alien, even counting the times he was writhing in his hell forms. The wings, for their part, drooped down almost apologetically like they were trying to get as far away from the devil’s body as possible. 

Lucifer always seemed larger than life; he stood out in any room. No one could miss him. But now he was shrinking, standing between the bulk of the two wings.

“Where have you been?” Dan asked trying to keep his voice level, like he was trying not to spook a horse. “We’ve- I mean, Chloe’s been worried about you.”

“Kidnapped, left in the desert with these- things,” Lucifer spat suddenly bristling, face becoming animated again before fading back into an eerie passiveness. “Father’s doing, I’m sure.”

Shaking his head, Dan put his gun away. This was really too much.

“I’m calling Chloe,” Dan announced, pulling out his phone.

“NO!” shouted Lucifer diving across the room at a nearly impossible speed. The devil unthinkingly raised the blood stained arm with the knife towards Dan and the phone as if to bat it out of the detective’s hand. Dan dropped the offending device in fear of losing a limb, and it broke in two on the hard tile.

At Dan’s startled gaze and sound of the phone cracking, Lucifer caught himself and seemed to become aware of the knife a half inch away from the human and his own bloody hand. The devil winced, placed the knife on the bar and grabbed a towel, wiping the blood away with expert ease. 

“Not yet,” Lucifer said with force calm. He carefully wiped the still wet blood from in-between his fingers. 

After his hand was somewhat clean, he tugged edges of his robe closer together and fingered the fabric nervously up and down. He looked at Dan with bravado so fragile, the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent was getting vertigo.

This was from a being that Dan had (unfortunately) seen all sorts of naked and still preening like a peacock. Part of Dan had been relieved when Chloe finally hooked up with Lucifer and laid out some ground rules. He had become tired of seeing Lucifer in all sorts of compromising positions with policewomen, policemen, witnesses, and any random passerby whenever he was left alone for 5 minutes at the precinct or crime scene. The sex positions Lucifer could get into in the quickest amount of time were legendary; most of them sent Dan secretly Googling the strangest combinations of words.

“I don’t understand what is happening here. Make me understand,” Dan practically pleaded.

“I’ll talk to her,” the devil promised, his usual dulcet tone falling flat. “Just not yet. Not like this.”

Lucifer crossed over to grab an unbroken bottle of gin, and in a rare moment of unprompted generosity, he poured two glasses and handed one to Dan. 

“These wi-ngs,” he gritted out - stuttering in a way Dan had never heard before - his free hand clenched the feathers of a wing, nearly tearing them out, “have to be gone first. I can’t have- She can’t see me- She can’t see them.”

Dan really looked at the wings for the first time and was memorized. They were luminous, otherworldly, and other multi-syllable words that floated right out of Dan’s head the more he looked at them. Dan, more than ever before, could picture what Lucifer must have been like before he was the devil and it- he was beautiful.

“Why not?” Dan asked with a dazed tone.

Lucifer put his forgotten drink down without even tasting it. His lips curled in disgust at seeing Dan’s reaction to God’s divinity. He ran both hands through his hair, messing it up even more, and paced around the room in agitation.

“Chloe saw me, she saw my devil-face, she saw me, and accepted me,” Lucifer stated in a throaty voice. “If she sees me now- if she looks at me like you are looking at me-”

Lucifer trailed off helplessly, he seemed confused like he didn’t even know what he was saying or why. He grabbed the drink out of Dan’s hand, downed it in one gulp, and looked straight into his eyes.

“This isn’t me,” Lucifer declared firmly as if he was trying to convince himself. “It never was. The only way things can be made right is if they’re gone.”

The fog of divinity dissipated and Dan touched the yellow stone that hung around his neck. He had never seen or even comprehended that Lucifer could feel or act like this. But he got it. It was so, well, human. 

“OK,” Dan said, nodding to himself. “I’ll do it.” 

Lucifer blinked in confusion, before the Cheshire grin grew across his face once again.

“You never cease being unpredictable,” Lucifer practically purred, his old self pouring back into his very essence. 

Dan was a little worried how comforting the sight was. But before he could really think about it, Lucifer had already grabbed the knife, pressed it into Dan’s hand, and spun around, wings rattling all the bottles with the quick movement. 

And just like that, Lucifer was kneeling with his back to Dan, wings outstretched, as Dan held a blade capable of killing any celestial or demonic being.

“We don’t have all day, Daniel,” Lucifer chimed out over his shoulder cheekily. “The blade will do most of the work. Chop chop.”

Trying not to think about what he was doing, he grabbed the injured wing (noting that it was already halfway healed). Lucifer shuddered at the contact. Dan desperately wanted to close his eyes.

But he didn’t.

To say the blade cut like butter… would be a lie. Dan had to really grab a hold of the wing which somehow felt like the lightest and densest thing he had ever touched all at once. He could feel a pleasant tingling sensation travel up his arm from the contact, but ignored it. Dan ended up shoving his knee between Lucifer’s shoulder blades to get the leverage he needed, which the devil endured wordlessly. He began to cut.

Lucifer held himself as still has possible, but before they were even half way through, he couldn’t hold back the scream of pain any longer. The agony that erupted was deafening. 

Sweating and cursing, Dan used all of his strength to go faster until he was left lying on ground next to Lucifer unable to hold the weight of the detached wing on his own.

The one good thing was that as soon as the wing was gone, Lucifer’s skin began to heal into the familiar whirls of his scars. 

Dan looked at the jagged end of the wing and saw the blood had already clotted. He focused on trying not to hurl as he felt the muscles and tendons grow slack in his hand. Surprisingly, there were much fewer drops of blood on the floor beneath Dan then when Lucifer had tried to amputate his own limb. Dan felt sick. 

Despite having screamed loud enough to make any human hoarse, Lucifer twisted his torso to look down at Dan and commanded him in his normal drawl, “Get up douche. One more wing to go.”

Still breathing heavily, Dan studied Lucifer’s face and noted there was not a trace of pain or discomfort on it, and for the first time wondered if Lucifer really felt no pain or if he was just that good at hiding it.

Rolling his eyes, Lucifer held out a hand and easily hauled Dan back up before turning around and bracing himself.

Dan looked at the knife in his hand. Now he was the one covered in blood.

***

Lucifer gave Dan a very expensive bottle of Bourbon in thanks and Dan was working very hard to convince himself not to drink it all right then and there as he sat next to the two severed wings on the floor. 

Lucifer bustled around his penthouse brimming with manic energy. He was almost bouncing off the walls in excitement. Dan wanted a nap.

“Well, I’m taking a shower. I trust you know where the door is,” Lucifer said prissily before walking away. Dan was too out of it to notice that Lucifer didn’t bother waiting to get to the washroom before shedding his robe.

Two beats later, Dan shook himself out of his stupor and called out, “What about the wings?!”

“Trash them, burn them, turn them into down pillows, I don’t care,” Lucifer called back.

Dan looked at the feathery massacre in front of him.

“Shit,” Dan muttered, kicking one of the wings.


	3. Failure

As delicately as he could, Dan wrapped the wings in silken bed sheets and dragged the great weight to Lucifer’s closet. It was a poor resting place, but there was something solemn about seeing the shape of the feathers underneath the thin fabric like a mourning veil. 

Dan could still hear the shower going so he was forced to clean up as much of the blood using water from the sink in the bar. Luckily, Lucifer’s vanity came in handy since there were plenty of mirrors to make sure he didn’t walk into the streets of L.A. like he just left a massacre.

Once he, his clothes, and the floor were as clean as possible, Dan walked over to his phone lying sadly on the hard tile. But it was beyond saving. The screen was completely detached from the rest of it. He couldn’t help himself and pressed the power button a few times. Nothing.

That was S.H.I.E.L.D. issued too. Now he was probably going to be reprimanded for going over his monthly budget. The organization wasn’t exactly hemorrhaging cash with all the HYDRA scandals and the fact it was a secret agency where you could Google all of the top agents (luckily, Captain America and Black Widow dumped all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s secrets during Director Fury’s lock-down and Dan had still been listed as a lowly level one agent with no great skills). 

After taking the long taxi ride to his tiny one bedroom apartment at the edge of the city all he wanted to do was veg out on his lumpy couch and watch TV. He did just get back from a clandestine meeting across the county and whatever the hell just happened at Lux. Was it so wrong to want to escape reality for awhile? Netflix just got the six ‘Body Bags’ movie. 

However, protocol demanded that he open up the lines of communication with S.H.I.E.L.D. as soon as possible AND without jeopardizing his position or exposing any potential Intel. Given how paranoid and security obsessed the director was (was Nick Fury still the director?? You'd think it wouldn't be too much to ask to know who your boss was at work) that wasn’t always an easy task. 

Dan Espinoza booted up a beat-up laptop and resigned himself to scrolling through the forum on a Captain America Vintage playing card club website. He posted various code phrases at random as he waited for the Admin to send him a private message where Espinoza could then, using a different cipher and password, request a new secure and unhackable cell phone. 

Sometimes Dan thought S.H.I.E.L.D. took the secret agency business a little too seriously. Although in fairness - unless Earth was experiencing some sort of potentially globally destructive event - the Admin usually took less than 20 minutes to respond. However, today was not Dan’s lucky day; it took several hours to get a reply.

Captain America’s image flashing across the screen as a terrorist and wanted felon might have had something to do with that. The comments on the forum weren’t exactly what you would consider nice either. Dan wanted to scrub his brain clean as the ‘true patriots’ described in detail exactly what they would do to Steve Rogers given the chance and there was more than one video of fiery effigies created from trading cards. 

Dan wondered why people were still so shitty. You would think an actual alien invasion and resurrection of the dead would make people grow or something. But Dan knew that was naïve, all his years as a cop taught him that.

After his request was safely sent, he yawned and took off the long chain around his neck. There was a soft thunk as the yellow stone hit the desk. Sleeping was the only time he ever removed the infinity stone. He didn’t even like having it in the same room as him when he slept. 

Dan hadn’t told anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. this but sometimes if he fell asleep while wearing the stone, his dreams felt weird. He was pretty sure you were only supposed to dream about things and people you had actually seen before, but these dreams never had anything to do with Dan. It was almost like they weren’t his. But that didn’t make any sense, and he didn’t want any more electrodes stuck to his head, thank you very much. 

Besides, who cares if had dreams where he had a tail and there were endless fields of mice or the one where he was an eleven year old girl trying to get out of swim practice because her period came too early or that weird foot one? (Oh holy god, the foot one was too much. It was just endless women’s bare feet dancing to that Barbra Streisand song. Dan happened to bump into a neighbor the next day and just knew – like he had a spot light on his soul – that the dull North Face jacket wearing neighbor was the foot man). 

After spending the better part of the evening fending off digital trolls, Dan didn’t have the patience to dissect meaningless dreams that were probably just due to an overactive imagination. He only had time to roll into bed for a few hours before rushing to work. Tomorrow was an important day after all. He only had one chance to make a good impression on the new Lieutenant. 

Tomorrow had to be a better a day.

***

It was not.

His first mistake was wasting time swinging by Dr. Linda Martin’s personal residence before work. Dan parked a block away so he could creep around the property looking for anything out of the ordinary. He peered into the window only to see an empty wheelchair and Linda propped up on the kitchen countertop having painfully slow sex with the nursing aid he saw last night at the club.

‘O-K enough of this, time to get to work,’ Dan thought only to belatedly notice one of Linda’s neighbors staring at him with her mouth open and a forgotten hose held in one hand over-watering the petunias. 

‘So much for being good at this stealth thing,’ the back of Dan’s mind grumbled as he slowly backed up before turning and sprinting for his car. And now he was going to be late unless he broke every speeding law on his way to work. 

Dan realized his second mistake when he watched Lucifer in his drama queen glory announce his return like he expected a standing ovation. Chloe’s pinched face tightened almost imperceptibly before she turned away from the devil and caught Dan’s eye.

In a panic, Dan realized this must have been what Lucifer meant when he promised he would speak to Chloe, and even though his own cell phone was in two pieces in the trash and his new one hadn’t arrived yet, Dan had broken his promise to his ex by not contacting her. And worse, she could read him like a book and knew that he already knew about Lucifer’s return. Opps.

His third mistake – after this one he decided he really didn’t need to keep counting – occurred when he decided to visit Charlotte Richards in the hospital. 

He was still kicking off sand from the crime scene and nursing a headache from babysitting the Lancaster Police when he walked up to her hospital bed. He was determined to give her the ‘talk’ as it were. Dan hadn’t had a chance before he was summoned away by Fury and he knew the doctors couldn’t explain anything. 

Dan should’ve just stayed home today.

“You’re saying there are statues of me because a cult thinks I’m a goddess?” She asked incredulously. Her skin was pale and she had dark circles under her eyes. Dan couldn’t help but think how small she looked under the hospital sheet.

Charlotte the Goddess, radiated and always seemed larger than life. Charlotte the human was shaking and burrowed deeper under the blanket despite the L.A. heat. 

“Well not of you – I mean, technically, they are of you, but not – because you were de-” Dan cut himself off while unconsciously reaching for her hand. 

“Dead?” Charlotte finished the thought for him with a hitch in her voice. She looked down at his hand touching her and moved hers away with steel taking over her eyes. When she looked up at the detective, her expression was as flat and cold as a shark. This was the lawyer all the crime families and crooks paid for.

“And you had sexual relations with my, ah, body,” Charlotte asked with feign indifference, her contempt barely hidden, “while I was no longer among the living?”

“Umm,” Dan replied as ineloquent as usual. Casting his eyes around the room, desperate to come up with a way to salvage this situation, he noticed that Charlotte had hidden her other hand by the side of the bed and was repeatedly pressing the nurse call button.

“I think I should go,” Dan said slowly watching her hit the button a few more times. If he listened hard enough he could hear footstep hurriedly walking towards the room.

“That would be for the best,” Charlotte replied with false sweetness. 

***

The new Lieutenant stomped down the precinct’s stairs wearing cowboy boots and carrying a motorcycle helmet. Ella’s crush must be infectious because even Dan could see the appeal. The man was a Cop Rock Star and Dan wanted to be the first one to greet him.

In his heart of hearts, even after the S.H.I.E.L.D. training, alien invasion, and proof of divinity, Dan was a cop. And he wanted to be a good cop.

The pause before the handshake sent a trace of unease down the back of Dan’s neck.

“Aren’t you that corrupt cop that got off easy because you work for that Nazi organization that almost blew up New York?” Pierce asked barely letting the handshake last a moment, his lip twitching upwards. 

“Excuse me?” Dan asked, his brain stuttering. 

“No, excuse me,” Lieutenant Pierce replied, already moving away only to be stopped when Dan grabbed his upper arm.

There was a time when Dan would have let him walk away without a hint of protest. But the world was a different place these days, and although Dan was glad Pierce wasn’t one of those truth deniers (the populace seemed to break into thirds after the incidences: one that was amazed and all but screeching at the top of their lungs that everyone must be different now that there was proof aliens and Gods and angels existed; the second group who refused to accept the truth and blamed everything that happened on a leftist media conspiracy made up by those damn Millennials; and the last simply shrugged and wondered why anyone was surprised in the first place), Dan wasn’t going to stand by and be walked over.

The slight flaring of Pierce’s nostrils on his otherwise unperturbed face was Dan’s only clue that the Lieutenant wasn’t happy with being held up.

“That’s not common knowledge,” Dan stated, letting go of Pierce’s arm, all too aware that he was in the middle of a police station man-handling his new boss on his first day. “How do you know that?”

At the question, Pierce couldn’t hide the smirk on his face.

“Oh, I make sure to keep informed,” Pierce replied before turning away. However, Dan could’ve sworn that the Lieutenant’s eyes briefly traveled down to Dan’s chest where the infinity stone rested. 

Frozen in thought, Dan watched Lieutenant Pierce’s interaction with Lucifer. His unease swiftly turned to annoyance once he realized the two were behaving like school children pulling each other’s pigtails. 

‘If Lucifer screws the Lieutenant, I will scream and possibly shoot him,’ Dan found himself vowing. His nasty side further added ‘it’s a coin toss whether Chloe will be around or not when I do it.’

Speaking of, Chloe was bristling over Pierce’s dismissal of her as ‘Lucifer’s partner’ and not Dan’s little mess-up with their open communication pact about Lucifer so he took this opportunity to voice his concerns about Pierce.

“I don’t know Dan,” Chloe huffed distractedly as she watched Lucifer practically inhale the doughnuts that Ella brought out to the common area. For her part, Ella looked like as was about to cry as all of her treats for Marcus disappeared into the devil’s mouth. “Is it really a secret you work for S.H.I.E.L.D.? I caught Trixie showing footage of you in New York in a S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform to all her friends. She found it on Youtube.”

“Yea, but how would he know about,” Dan asked gesturing towards the necklace “you know-”

Not even seeing the motion, Chloe shook her head at Lucifer’s antics. Usually, she found them at least slightly endearing, but not today. 

“Can we talk about this later?” She asked already walking away. “When it’s a better time?”

“Sure, of course,” Dan replied, watching her leave, kicking the air. Things had to improve soon.

****

Things did not improve.

Expendable.

Left standing on the sidewalk like an idiot, Dan certainly felt expendable. It didn’t help that Chloe and Lieutenant Pierce were watching.

It also didn’t help that Dan might be slightly worried about a certain devil due to the possibility that whomever attacked him and gave him back his wings might be a celestial or other-worldly being.

But of course Lucifer was fine, like always, standing over the perp like the not-wrath of God he was. 

Or at least Dan thought he was fine until Lucifer turned around and Dan saw the Devil’s shell shocked expression.

Lucifer was breathing heavily, his hair completely messed up (but still sexy), and he spoke a few words to Chloe looking completely lost. It was only when Lucifer locked eyes with Dan that he became laser focused with determination.

Before Dan could blink, Lucifer grabbed him and hauled him into the suspect’s bedroom while shutting and locking the door. The devil crowed into Dan’s personal space and he could smell the expensive cologne mixed with sweat (and god damn it, even Lucifer’s sweat smelled good) before feeling the cold hard metal of the demon blade handle being forced into his hand. 

Dumbly, Dan stared down at the blade, but Lucifer was already stepping back and unfurling his wings.

“They’re back,” Dan stated with his mouth gaping open.

“Yes, tenacious little buggers,” Lucifer spat sarcastically, turning around to expose his back to Dan, knocking into the dresser and wall while he was at it. Dan winced at the noise wondering what in the world his co-workers standing just outside of the door thought of the racket.

The L.A. police department as a whole, despite never having discussed the topic, decided to embrace conscious denial that the actual Devil, allegedly, worked with them. Everyone from beat cops to the forensic scientists knew who Lucifer was, but worked really really hard not to know it. Although, admittedly there was a substantial pool of money passed out to which ever person overheard the craziest or most terrifying thing Lucifer, Chloe or Dan said that week. It was pretty much the only way they had to stay sane.

Dan looked from the blade in his hand to Lucifer who was once again kneeling in front of him, basically helpless, waiting for Dan to crave into him. Lucifer had braced himself against the floor and Dan could see his muscles tense underneath his white shirt (although, for some reason, he couldn’t see how the wings went through the shirt, Dan’s sight kept slipping over where the holes should’ve been every time he tried to look closer).

“I’m not doing this here, are you crazy?!?” Dan barked out. Lucifer twisted to look over his shoulder and glare at him with his dark brown all too human eyes. 

‘Don’t they normally flash red at this point?’ Dan wondered. However, he refused to back down even facing a potentially deranged Devil.

Lucifer stood up, folded his wings to wherever they go when they aren’t here, and prissily spun around, only to have Dan shove the handle of the blade back into the devil’s hand.

Dan crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the Devil in his best stern no-arguments look usually reserved for Trixie.

Lucifer visibly deflated and whined, “Why not?”

Dan threw an arm out in the direction at the door. 

“Because this is a crime scene?? Because the other cops might wonder why you’re hollering your head off in here or why your blood is all over the floor? Because Chloe’s out there??” Dan shouted out. To his annoyance, Lucifer held his hands out in placating motion as if Dan was being the unreasonable one. Lucifer even made a shushing noise to quiet the hysterical detective.

‘I gave the demon blade back too soon,’ Dan thought nastily.

“Alright, fine,” Lucifer sighed, pouting. Lucifer once again stepped way too far into Dan’s personal space, looked up at him through his lashes, his bottom lip quivering slightly, and softly asked, “But later, yes? My place?”

Now it was Dan’s turn to sigh. 

“Yeah, I can do that,” Dan replied resigning himself to another bloody evening. At least this time he could bring a change of clothes and maybe some tarps.

“Excellent,” Lucifer toothily grinned at Dan, dazzling him with his pearly white teeth.

“Why is your Father even doing this?” Dan mused out loud.

Lucifer’s devilish smirk dissolved and he was back to resembling a child left alone in a grocery store. 

“Turns out it wasn’t Dad’s doing,” Lucifer answered, furrowing his brow as he stared off into the distance. “It was the Sinnerman.”

***

It was only later that evening when Dan was driving away from Lux wondering if he should just burn the bloody clothes stuffed in a duffel bag in the back seat that he remembered that he was over ten hours late to pick up his new S.H.I.E.L.D. cell phone that would’ve been left in a locker at a bus stop across town.

‘Fuck,’ Dan thought as he performed an illegal u-turn.

The phone was exactly where it was supposed to be, but Dan made the executive decision to head home before checking in. 10hrs, 11hrs, what difference did it make at this point? Anyways, the bus stop was far too crowded for the report he wanted to give and he needed time to come up with a convincing reason for his tardiness even if Natasha would see through him in a moment. 

No matter what happened between them recently, Dan knew it would be good to hear her voice. As his commanding officer, she would have to listen to him, and maybe if he groveled just right she would forget about any potential tongue action caught on video with Charlotte the Goddess. They could work through this. He just knew it.

Once he was safely in his apartment with the infinity stone left in its usual resting place in the living room, Dan retreated to the bedroom. He pulled the contacts up on his phone and scrolled through until he found the one labeled “Grandma” (the usual code used on S.H.I.E.L.D. phones) and dialed.

Once he heard it connect, Dan didn’t even wait for a hello, before pressing forward with the speech he prepared in his head.

“I know, I know I’m late. But hey, I found the Devil,” Dan smiled into the phone, “and if you forgive me, I’ll give you one of my famous back-rubs.”

“I’m going to pass on the back-rub, Agent Espinoza,” Nicholas Fury drawled over the line, “and I already know Lucifer Morningstar is back. But what I really want to know is why I had to find out by hacking the police precinct video feeds and not from the agent I have on the ground.”

Ffffuuuuccckkk

Coughing into the phone, he straightened up from where he admittedly had laid on the bed in hopes of chatting with Black Widow before going to sleep. It seemed like this would be another long night.

“Ah, sir, it’s a long story,” Dan stated hesitantly.

“I’m listening,” Fury growled.

***

“Hold on,” Fury rumbled through the phone. “Are you telling me that a celestial being had you cut off his wings that hold unknown divine powers and told you to do what you want with them, and you left them in a penthouse apartment, TWICE??”

“Umm, yes?” Dan asked while being pretty sure that wasn’t the correct answer.

Dan heard a deep inhale on the other end of the line.

“Agent Espinoza,” Fury began, forcing his voice to remain calm, “you are aware that you are a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, correct? And a Level 7 S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent at that – You do know the purpose of S.H.I.E.L.D., right?”

“Ok, director – er - Agent Fury, sir, I hear you,” Dan started, “but what about Marcus Pierce-”

“Already looked into him,” Fury snapped back, cutting Dan off, “he check’s out, there’s nothing unusual at all in his record.”

“Fine, but what about the Sinnerman?”

“He’s a complete myth. Don’t you think S.H.I.E.L.D. would know if there was some secret criminal mastermind behind all the terrible things that happen in the world?”

“---”

“Espinoza?” 

“Sorry sir, I’m just not sure how you want me to answer that.”

Dan only heard Fury blow out a large breath of air in response. 

Fury could feel a tension headache forming behind his bad eye. He took a moment to rub his temple wondering if he could outsource this job to one of the fallen cherubs that hung around Coulson, they seem to like suffering. However, Fury realized his mistake when Agent Espionza used his silence as an excuse to ramble every thought that crossed his mind.

“Sir, we need to talk about Loki. Has anyone really questioned Dr. Martin? And where is Natasha anyways? Is she and Rogers really wanted criminals now? Are you the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore? Do you even work for S.H.I.E.L.D? Hell, am I even working for S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore?”

Dan paused to breathe, waiting for Fury’s response. He could almost feel the heat of Fury’s one eye glaring through the phone; he was surprised he wasn’t getting blisters just holding it.

“Get those damn wings, Agent,” Fury ordered and then nothing. Fury had hung up on him.


	4. Alone

Dan went from a deep sleep to wide awake after the first ring of his cell phone. Was it a crime scene? Aliens? A crime scene involving dead aliens?

“Espinoza,” he grunted into the phone already pulling his socks on.

“Daniel,” Lucifer purred seductively, “I’m having issues with, ah, engorged body parts and a tragically empty bed. Only you can help me and I need you right now.”

“Dude,” Dan groaned, rubbing his free hand down his face and feeling faintly nauseous. “Never EVER say anything like that to me again.”

“But Daannn,” Lucifer whined. Dan could hear the devil flouncing back on his bed over the phone. “I really do need your help, the winged cock-blockers are back, and you’re the only one I can turn to.”

Dan counted backwards slowly from 10 and tried to think calming thoughts. Sand, warm ocean breezes, coconut drinks with those itty bitty umbrellas, anything but the reality of sitting in the dark on his sagging bed, listening to a being older than the Earth pout like a spoiled child. 

As the so called ‘Celestial Expert’, (a title that was forced on him by Nick Fury) Dan wondered if this really fell under his expected duties. He was basically a glorified baby-sitter, always a step behind, chasing after the angels, demons and whatevers with a fire extinguisher and a prayer. 

Incidentally, he had never connected as much with a fictional character as he did with Kari from the ‘Incredibles’.

“Dan, Dan, Dan, DAN, Daniel, Danielle, DAN, Dan,” Lucifer chanted into the phone. 

“What?!” Dan finally responded angrily. 

“Are you coming?” Lucifer asked sulkily like Dan was being the unreasonable one.

Dan didn’t feel guiltily at all for snapping, no he did not. That would be insane. Lucifer – Lucifer was struggling, even Dan could see it. For someone who was all about spontaneity and chaos, the devil sure didn’t like it when someone took control away from him. 

And- And Dan got it. If you couldn’t trust your own body (or your own mind) what could you trust?

“Fine,” Dan muttered, staring morosely at the clock that read 2:37 AM. 

“Excellent,” Lucifer replied and Dan could hear the grin over the phone before the click of the devil hanging up on him.

***

Dan pulled the poncho over his head with gloved hands before throwing it in the middle of the bloodied tarp. He snapped the gloves off and carefully folded the tarp without once touching the sticky blood. He tossed everything in a large garbage bag he would incinerate at a later time. He was getting frighteningly good at dismembering body parts without leaving any evidence he participated in the gruesome act.

After the clean-up, the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent in him watched Lucifer drag the newly severed wings towards the closet where they were haphazardly thrown on top of the others. The devil seemed to have hoarding level blinders when it came to the wings considering he had to get dressed in that closet every day. Dan would never understand how Lucifer could possibly step over his own severed body parts to pull a Prada suit on. 

On the practical side, Dan was pretty sure he could walk out with one and Lucifer wouldn’t even lift a finger to stop him. Ok, like maybe 75% sure.

However, the normal person inside of Dan that was still screaming, ‘holy shit, I’m cutting wings off of an Angel, this was not covered in Sunday school,’ made him hesitate.

Before Dan could finish his internal struggle of should-he/shouldn’t he, Lucifer was in his face prattling on about how ‘Thursday was almost over’ and ‘still time to get a proper Devil’s Threesome going’ as he tried to hustle the Agent out of the penthouse.

“Wait, you and Chloe are still doing that weird hall pass thing?” Dan asked, stopping in his tracks before turning and really studying Lucifer. “Are you guys ok? Things have been a little – tense.”

“Of course we’re fine. Nothing has changed,” Lucifer replied, rolling his eyes before gently pushing Dan towards the elevator. (There were trucks going 80mph on the highway Dan would have a better chance holding his ground to than the celestial’s strength.) 

Lucifer hit the down button and threw Dan a self-satisfied smirk before continuing. “In fact, Chloe recently encouraged me to fully enjoy myself in all my extra liaisons, as it were. Just because your sex life disappeared in a poof of smoke or rather slipped outside the universe through a rift in time and space doesn’t mean everyone else’s have.”

“Ah, come on man,” Dan griped, unexpectedly hurt by that. “I’m doing you a favor here.”

The smirk slipped off Lucifer’s face as his eyes narrowed. The hand on Dan’s shoulder felt as heavy as lead and was un-godly hot. 

Horrifically, Dan couldn’t help but realize how none of the devil’s partners ever had to worry about frigid toes waking them up in the middle of the night, unlike a certain ex-KGB member who must have brought the cold of Russia with her to b- um – never mind. ‘Stupid, stupid thoughts I’m never going to be able to un-think now,’ Dan internally berated himself. 

“Hmmm, I suppose that’s true,” Lucifer stated slowly in an alien passivity. Dan froze, not entirely sure what sort of Pandora box he just opened by mentioning the ‘F’ word. 

It was only the ding of the elevator opening that snapped Lucifer out of his contemplation. His dark eyes looked away and a small wrinkle formed between his eyebrows as he stared into the distance. 

“Chloe hasn’t been coming around as much lately,” Lucifer confessed, not looking at Dan. His dulcet tone was a tad wistful. “At first, I thought it was me avoiding her due to my unfortunate feathery condition, but now… I’m not so sure.”

“Um,” Dan replied eloquently, floored by the unexpected insight into his ex’s love life. Unsure what else to do, he patted Lucifer awkwardly on the shoulder. “I’m sure you two will figure it out.”

Lucifer’s upper lip curled in disgust as he looked down at Dan’s hand. He stared at it for a few moments before his eyes closed and a shudder ran through him. 

Dan was at a loss. He slowly withdrew his hand only for Lucifer’s attention to snap back to him. Dan had no idea what Lucifer was thinking. The devil seemed to be bracing to face a great horror.

“Yes, well, never mind that. As for you Dan and your _favor_ , I am prepared-” Lucifer paused, gagging “-I am prepared to introduce you to few of Lux’s attendees. I’m sure at least one of them would agree to have sex with you.” Another shudder ran through the devil. He closed his eyes again and audibly breathed through his nose before continuing. “I’ll even let you use the penthouse rather than subject that poor soul to the shack you call an apartment.”

“What?!” Dan yelped. “I don’t want that.”

“Oh, thank Dad for small miracles,” Lucifer responded cheerfully before gently pushing Dan into the elevator and repeatedly pressing the down button. “Do let me know when you figure out what you desire.”

Dan nodded, standing dumbly as the elevator doors started to close. They were almost shut when a spark of an idea crossed his mind. He shot his hand out and barely caught the door before it closed completely.

“Wait,” Dan called out to Lucifer who had almost turned around. But Dan’s tongue felt heavy and the silence dragged. 

“Yes, Daniel?” Lucifer asked when it became clear that the human wasn’t going to keep speaking.

“The wings,” Dan started slowly, still thinking. He knew all he needed to do was ask, but the part of him that felt how wrong it was, was screaming. So he hesitated.

“What about them?” Lucifer prompted getting annoyed now. He was all but tapping his foot in impatience. 

“Wh-what can they do?” Dan asked sheepishly, unable to voice the real question. “Now that they’re, you know, separate from you?”

Lucifer looked at Dan like he couldn’t comprehend why this amoeba was still speaking to him, “Don’t know, don’t care.”

“Yeah, but what if some humans got a hold of them?” Dan pressed, unable to let this train of thought go.

“Oh!” Lucifer’s eyes lit up in comprehension as he responded. “You mean if an organization as irresponsible as S.H.I.E.L.D. got them?” Lucifer tapped his mouth with a finger in thought before answering his own question, “Hellfire and catastrophe, most likely. I’d put money on them finding a way to end the world within a week, tops. Thank Dad that’s not going to happen or we’d all be utterly screwed. They’re not the brightest bunch.” 

“Ah, OK then,” Dan replied with a false calm, but Lucifer wasn’t finished.

“I mean they hired you, didn’t they?” Lucifer stated simply, staring Dan straight in the eye.

Sputtering, Dan was too slow to do or say anything before the elevator doors closed again. 

***

In between crime scenes, Dan staked out Dr. Linda Martin’s office and kept watch (the police were called whenever he parked near Dr. Martin’s home which led to a few embarrassing encounters with traffic cops). More than once Dan followed tall dark haired patients that left her office but to no avail. He hadn’t even seen a hint of the Asgardian Prince since he learned about the so called “death scene.”

But, he didn’t let this dissuade him for a moment. The more Dan thought about it, the surer he became that Loki’s death was faked. The whole story was just too dramatic – practically Shakespearian really - to be anything but a trickster’s scheme. 

Unfortunately, former Director Fury didn’t respond well to Agent Espinoza’s tirades about how obvious it was that Loki was alive and was no longer taking his calls. As Dan’s only current connection to S.H.I.E.L.D. this was not ideal. He was taking to texting Fury his status and location, just in case a deranged semi-immortal god did show up. 

While sitting in his car, not even a minute after he sent his text, Dan discovered he had a missed call despite knowing the phone never rang. Sighing, Dan dialed his phone to listen to the message.

“Wings Espinoza, wings are your only priority. Do you have them yet? No? Why the fuck am I keeping you on payroll?” Fury’s voice growled before the message dissolved into static and deleted itself from Dan’s phone. 

Dan tried to text back, but just got an ‘undeliverable’ message in return.

***

Unable to get anywhere on the Dr. Martin front, Dan chose to focus on another potential problem: Lt. Marcus Pierce.

Dan walked into Pierce’s office ready to face this man mano a mano. He planned on sussing out whether the Lieutenant only knew about Dan being an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. or if he knew more problematic things, specifically about the stone that hung around Dan’s neck. 

It was a mistake from the moment he walked into the office and he is not sure how it happened…

Within in the first exchange, Pierce had Dan stuttering and stumbling over his words, making him feel like he was the one being interrogated. He practically had Dan admitting to allowing the portals to open up over N.Y.C. and the nuke that followed, like he was the one at fault.

Completely left-footed, Dan could feel his face growing red as he failed to string a coherent thought together.

And just like that, Pierce cut the conversation off like he had grown bored with toying with Dan and got down to business, throwing in one last jab about how ‘sad’ the interaction was.

“I want all the Intel you have on Lucifer,” ordered Pierce confidently, like it was a simple of a request as having Dan fetch him coffee. He even leaned in and tilted his head to the side with a slight grin; like Dan was a pal and they both were in on some secret joke.

The blood in Dan’s veins turned to ice. He studied the Lieutenant to make sure he heard correctly. The slight smile on the man’s perfect face - with its chiseled jaw and cleft chin - only widened and Dan realized Pierce was enjoying this. He wasn’t sure if Pierce liked torturing Dan in particular or simply having power, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

“You do know who he is, right?” Dan asked, buying time, trying to calculate if the Lieutenant knew something Dan didn’t or if he was just insane.

“He’s the devil,” Pierce replied easily, eyes lighting up with amusement. 

Dan mouth opened and closed multiple times at. In the back of Dan’s mind he was grumbled about how it wasn’t fair. He still had trouble wrapping his mind around the truth of who Lucifer was and here was mister fancy-pants cowboy boot GQ model saying it like it was nothing. Dan started to wonder if he was the joke Pierce found so funny.

Time to change tactics…

“And you know who I work for,” Dan stated matter-of-factly. 

If Pierce really was as well informed as he was insinuating, he should be quaking in him boots at the very thought of Dan’s real boss. The fact that Pierce obviously wasn’t- worried Dan. There was something very much off about the Lieutenant. 

Pierce’s only reply was to raise his eyebrows and give Dan a slight nod, his teeth peeking out from behind his lips. Even now Marcus Pierce was stupidly handsome. His shoulders were nice and wide, and man, his arms were great. 

“Then why would you think I would do that?” Dan asked shaking his head. It wasn’t fair, bad guys should have goatees and wear black hats, not resemble an aging Superman with all the wholesome goodness.

Marcus Pierce stood up, walked around Espinoza and looked outside his door to the bullpen as if contemplating the question.

“Because if you don’t-” Pierce began before turning back to look at Dan “-I’ll fire you.”

Espinoza clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly trying to come up with a response. He watched the Lieutenant walk back around his desk with that damn smile still on his face. Dan knew this wasn’t an idle threat. And he could do it to. There was enough evidence out there about Dan’s police misconduct that if it all came to light, even S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn’t cover it back up again. Hell, even divine intervention probably wouldn’t help.

He needed to do something- 

-A fog crossed over Dan’s mind and he was no longer standing in Pierce’s office. In front of him sat a jagged rock covered in blood. The simple object was dizzying in how wrong it felt. Dan could taste copper on his tongue and the air was alive with unreleased violence. Dan watched the blood spread from the rock until there was a wave of it covering a primitive world with something horrible and new.

Dan could feel the blood reaching outwards in time infecting everything, changing everything, and molding a world with a harsh truth that could never be unknown. At the end of this blood trail, he was shocked to see his own precinct, hell, his own job, only existed as a direct result of one terrible act.- 

He looked down at his hands, expecting them to be painted red with wet blood, but they were clean. He snapped his attention back to Pierce who had just sat down still smiling and waiting for Dan’s answer- as if the world hadn’t just cracked open around them. 

The infinity stone glowed unseen under Dan’s shirt.

Something was wrong. A wave of exhaustion hit Dan like a truck. Luckily, the Lieutenant hadn’t seemed to noticed whatever the fuck just happened. But Dan had to get out of this office and re-group. 

“SH-SHIELD would would stop you,” Dan stuttered, only half faking, his mind reeling and his heart thudded in his chest. Was Pierce supernatural or was Dan just loosing it?

“Would they though?” Pierce asked plainly. “For you?”

Pierce began going through files on his desk in apparent dismissal of Dan.

Dan wavered on his feet before his knees unlocked and he staggered towards the door.

Pierce called out, “I want everything on my desk in one hour.”

***

The folder that sat on his lap wasn’t that big, Dan told himself. It was just his private file he kept on Lucifer. Most of the information was collected before he was even a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent so it wasn’t even that important, Dan reasoned.

Lucifer’s real file was sitting encrypted on a sever at some S.H.I.E.L.D. base or another. Dan didn’t have access to the information without physically being on a base and walking up to a computer. He didn’t have time to get to one in the hour he was given. Not that he would do that, even with his job (the only thing besides Trixie he really had left in the world) at stake. 

This wasn’t a betrayal. 

Dan tried to text Fury again: ‘undeliverable.’

He tried calling and got a voicemail which was just a robotic voice stating: “Agent Espinoza, if you have the wings press 1, if you don’t, press 2.”

Dan pressed 2 and got a dial tone. He could only look at his phone in shock and waited so long, a voice came over the speaking saying, ‘please hang up and try again.’

‘Stupid,’ Dan thought, ‘Why are you so stupid?’

He hung up and tried dialing again. 

It didn’t connect.

Dan looked at the folder in his hand and then towards Pierce’s office. He stood up and started walking. 

He told himself that he was playing the long game. He needed to stay close to see if Pierce was really up to something or just dicking Dan around. 

This wasn’t a betrayal. It wasn’t.

***

Dan snuck into Lucifer’s penthouse that night. And by snuck in he meant he got complementary valet parking, skipped the line of patrons waiting to get into Lux because he was a permanent member on the guest list, and was greeted by name by the bouncer and bartender before entering Lucifer’s private elevator that led to the devil’s unlocked penthouse.

Lucifer’s employees didn’t even question why Dan needed to borrow the metal dolly or why he had 6 oversized empty duffel bags on him. (His credit card was not happy with him. Dan only hoped he could get the purchase reimbursed as a business expense.)

‘I really need to talk to Lucifer about security sometime,’ Dan thought to himself, as a nearly naked waitress helped him stack the duffel bags on the dolly, ‘for the sake of the whole planet.’

But he didn’t have time to worry about that now. Dan was on an official S.H.I.E.L.D. mission and he really shouldn’t have waited so long. Once he got the wings, he’d get off Fury’s blacklist and be able to give the ex-director his report about Pierce (probably leaving out the weird vision that couldn’t possibly be relevant).

Besides what was he thinking delaying following his orders to stalk a psychiatrist? His day job had already been threatened once and he was risking losing his S.H.I.E.L.D position and possibly his freedom if he kept going rouge.

He needed to trust his superiors. Hell it was S.H.I.E.L.D.’s job to protect the world from threats. They wouldn’t be caught unaware by an immortal out of mythology and world-wide conspiracies… Umm, at least not again…

And it’s not like he was stealing nuclear weapons, Dan reassured himself. Just something that could possibly rip apart reality as he knew it if it fell in the wrong hands… 

The elevator door stood open to Lucifer’s penthouse, but Dan didn’t even notice. He seriously contemplated his Plan B, which was to have Chloe reach out to Stark and then beg Ironman to intercede on his behalf. But if he did that he might as well kiss is job with S.H.I.E.L.D. good-bye and his position with the L.A. Police Department too for that matter. He doubted Stark could investigate Pierce and protect Dan too considering Dan’s less than honest past. 

Also, anyone watching the news could see that Stark didn’t even take Captain America’s side when he disobeyed a government agency. What hope did Dan have?

His plan of action decided, Dan once again had to shove his hand out to catch the door to stop the elevator from closing on him. Only this time, he wasn’t going to back-down. It would be for the greater good, right?

20 minutes later, Dan had filled the duffel bags with the 6 severed wings. He had only slightly miscalculated on the sheer mass and length of the wings, but luckily he knew where Lucifer hid one of Maze’s demon blades.

It was only slightly nauseating cutting through the bones of the wings into smaller pieces so they could be stuffed unceremoniously into the bags. 

But the worst part was that even now, after being separated from Lucifer for so long, the wings still felt warm and pulsed under Dan’s hand. It was like he was cutting into a living thing. 

‘Maybe Lucifer could still feel them,’ Dan wondered morbidly before working very hard not to think that thought.

It was also difficult not to simply stop everything he was doing and just stare at them. Without Lucifer to distract him, Dan found his mind drifting-

-the wings were like the first day of a spring dawn when the world was new and fresh and the light had just started to burn off the dew from the vegetation; no, they were more like the long awaited sun revealing itself from behind a mountain on a sunrise; or maybe it was like looking at the sun from beneath the ever turbulent waves of an ocean as life reached for it; or actually-

Dan shook his head and tugged on the chain around his neck before focusing on the task at hand. These feathered things might be divine but they were damned heavy. 

Once done, Dan wheeled the dolly with the bulging duffel bags over to the elevator and pressed the down button only to belatedly realize several long white feathers were sticking out on the left side.

He bent over to jab at the feathers to force them back inside but they kept poking out again. The soft feminine gasp coming from the now open elevator caused Dan to stand up abruptly next to the dolly with the feathers still fully in view. 

Dr. Linda Martin stood frozen with her hand over her mouth next to a fuming Amenadiel. The tall fallen angel’s fists were clenched and his whole body shook with tension. Dan could almost see Amenadiel grinding his teeth.

“Ah, this isn’t what this looks like,” Dan bluffed ineffectively. He rubbed the back of his neck while his hand twitched for his gun that he knew was utterly useless. “Actually, what does this look like to you?”

“It looks like-” Amenadiel growled in his deep baritone, “-you are stealing my brother’s wings, probably to turn them over to your human authorities.”

“Oh,” Dan said softly before looking at the duffel bags and all his hard work. A hysterical part of him wondered if it would be possible to grab one of the bags before Amenadiel could get to him. Never mind the fact he’d never be able to get out of the penthouse with it. But he couldn’t help it, one of his hands drifted towards the closest bag.

An angry exhale next to his ear persuaded Dan not to continue this line of thought. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized Amenadiel was standing only inches away from him.

“It’s time for you to leave now, human,” Amenadiel spat as he crowded Dan towards the elevator, his lip curled in pure disgust. 

“Right,” Dan agreed sadly while standing alone in the elevator. 

Amenadiel, the least irritating angel/possibly even one of Dan’s closest friends was glaring at him like he was a stranger or an enemy. Even Dr. Martin looked at Dan like she had just caught him kicking a puppy. It wasn’t pleasant and to make matters worse, Dan 1000% agreed with them.

‘Just another win for Team Dan,’ Dan thought cynically, before the questionably sane portion of Dan’s mind piped up just as the elevator doors were closing for a final time. ‘He probably won’t like it if I ask him to dump all the wings out of the duffel bags so I can try to return them and get my money back.’ 

***

After being laughed off stage with the devil throwing tomatoes at him, Dan started to seriously wonder if he had already died and was trapped in a Hell loop. But he couldn’t remember anything he felt guilty enough about to deserve any of this.

***

So screw it.

Screw Lucifer and his wings. The dick could find someone else to help with his gruesome manscaping. 

And screw Fury who was still ghosting him, the stupid one-eyed pirate. 

Dan was more or less completely cut off from S.H.I.E.L.D. He hadn’t heard from his red-headed prior supervisor/possible almost girlfriend since she became a wanted criminal so God only knows what’s really going on with S.H.I.E.L.D. right now. And with Avengers disbanded and half of its members on the run or in custody, who would really care about one Agent Daniel Espinoza anyways?

Dan had a real job to keep. He had a new megalomaniac boss who may or may not be something supernatural (or just another dick who got off on tormenting him) to keep happy. There were crimes he could actually solve out there and real people to help. This metaphysical crap just got in the way. 

Dan briefly toyed with the idea of signing up with the alien and divine deniers just so he could simplify thing. Ha! S.H.I.E.L.D. shrinks would have a field day with that!

He was done, mic drop, out.

Except…

There was this little niggling sensation in the back of his mind like he couldn’t remember if he turned off the stove or not. No, that’s not quite it. It felt more like he left the stove on, cranked the gas on a faux fireplace and had forgotten he had placed 10 drums of gasoline in his living room for some reason or another. 

The feeling wouldn’t let up and all Dan knew for sure was that in the center of the impending explosion stood Dr. Linda Martin.

Which is why instead of spending his Tuesday morning covertly hiding behind a newspaper in the lobby tracking all the patients that went in and out of her office, he knocked on her door. And yes, there was still a gold plate that read ‘Actual Therapist to the Devil Himself.’

Linda’s professional face slipped away to favor one of detached disapproval when she saw who was bothering her before office hours. She resembled a stern librarian which was not in any way a subject that an adolescent Dan wasted hours of his life watching porn of. No sir, it was not.

When she moved to close the door in Dan’s face, he had to grab the solid wood with his right hand to stop it. Dan was getting sick and tired of doors shut in his face, being hung up on and otherwise dismissed. 

After a brief moment of struggle – the petite doctor was a lot stronger than she looked, despite recent injuries- Linda gave up trying to force the door and chose to give Dan a less than impressed look of derision. 

Sighing, and secretly glad he hadn’t lost a finger, Dan straightened up and spoke with as much authority he could muster, “Linda we need to talk.”

“It’s Dr. Martin to you, and I’m not helping you get Lucifer’s wings,” she stated prissily, pulling herself up to her full 5ft 3in (including heels) in height before snapping, “How could you try to take them? Maybe you really are a douch-”

“I don’t care about the wings,” Dan cut her off, trying to remain calm. “I want to talk about Loki.”

“Oh?”Linda replied indifferently but Dan could almost see the flicker of thoughts racing as her eyelids twitched. Gotcha.

“That- Agency you work for informed me of his death and it was very sad, but I don’t talk about my sessions with patients, even the deceased ones.”

“I don’t want to know about his sessions, just about the last time you saw him. You know, after his death,” Dan pressed, noting her every reaction. 

The doctor’s lips pursed and her eyes narrowed behind the dark frames of her glasses for a split second before she schooled her features into a professional lets-talk-the-crazy-man-off-the-ledge smile.

“I’m not sure what you’re going on about Detective, but it’s time for you to leave or I will call your supervisor. Both of them,” she threatened pleasantly moving to shut the door again.

Liar-liar-therapist-pants-on-fire Dan thought ferociously before panicking at the sight of the closing door. He couldn’t fail. Not again. 

“He was here,” Dan began becoming painfully aware he had no leverage to get her to talk. Stupid, stupid, he needed something, anything to convince her to tell him the truth-

-the office shifted around Dan. The light from the window flickered on and off until it disappeared entirely. The hallway looked different, a potted plant was moved five inches over, and more importantly Loki was here! Dan watched a different Dr. Martin leave her office only to drop her purse at the sight of the Trickster God-

Back in the present, Dan’s glazed look refocused on Linda who was too busy staring with concern at the glowing stone that had slipped out from underneath the detective’s shirt to notice. She was a little twitchy around other-worldly stuff suddenly emitting light.

“It was night, you weren’t expecting him,” Dan began trying to grasp onto the tail-end of the vision. 

The here-and-now and the past overlaid on top of one another, the effect was nauseating. But Dan held on, he had to figure out what Loki was saying.

“He left something in your care-”

Linda’s gaze snapped up in shock. She wasn't playacting now. But what had he heard? 

-Loki speaking in quick phrases, almost begging for Linda’s help in – something – The god sounded so sincere and helpless, and Dan didn’t believe it for a moment. The god gestured towards a dark shape behind him.- 

“It wasn’t something!” Dan shouted the realization coming to him all at once as the infinity stone stopped glowing and the past dissolved like it had never been there. “It was someone! Linda, who is on Earth?!?”

Dan gasped for air, it felt like he had just run a marathon and he couldn’t get enough oxygen. All of his limbs felt tense and his muscles involuntarily twitched. What was happening to him?

Linda blinked once at the red-face detective before seemingly deciding something. 

“You’re right, Dan,” she admitted. Linda stepped out of her doorway and grabbed the detective by the arm, leading him away. “We do need to talk and then I need to show you something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone should check out a great fic: Satan Does Stark by FluffyGlitterPantsDragon. It was inspired by the original The Devil is in the Detail and has actual sex scenes!


	5. Asgardian Invasion

“What are we doing here?” Dan asked Linda Martin as they stood at one of L.A.’s popular beaches. The heat of the searing sun was replaced with a cool ocean’s breeze and the waves were beautiful. He’d much rather be surfing them then standing here getting sand in his shoes.

“You wanted to know who was on Earth, and I’m showing you, detective,” Linda Martin responded with a sigh, also rethinking her footwear on the shifting surface. She nodded at a group of people in the distance. “The long-term care patients are having an outing.”

Unlike most of the beach goers, there was one group that appeared to have orderly on hand for each swimsuit-wearing person. Now that Dan thought about it, he had parked near a van in the parking lot with Westridge Canyon Psychiatric Hospital written on the side.

“You put whoever Loki brought here in the psych ward,” Dan stated slowly before snapping his eyes up to look at Linda. “Are you crazy?!”

“I’ll have you know it’s one of the top rated facilities in L.A.,” Linda bristled before grabbing the unwilling detective’s arm and pulling him towards the group. “Even God approved of it – well, sort of.”

“Wait,” Dan said, stopping in his tracks leaving Linda to ineffectively tug on his sleeve. “Are you talking about the facility where one of the nurses tortured a patient, killed an orderly, and tried to kill other patients including Lucifer?”

Linda blinked at Dan.

“That wasn’t Dr. Garrity’s fault and that woman is in jail now,” Linda argued after she regained her composure. She pulled herself up to her admittedly less-than impressive height. “And the pudding’s good.”

She about-faced and marched towards the group.

“Well as long as the pudding is good,” Dan muttered sarcastically before running after the doctor.

***

“That’s Odin,” Dan stated dumbfounded. At least he thought it was Odin. He stared at the man sitting under the beach umbrella, humming to himself, with a line of sunscreen down his nose.

This was not the little-g god he remembered from the S.H.I.E.L.D. base on top of the 8-legged horse with gold-armored guards. He seemed – smaller.

“Yes, it is,” Linda confirmed while catching the once King of Asgard’s one eye. He smiled at the doctor before his eye lost focus again and he returned to his humming. “Loki begged me to take him, saying all the realms would be at risk if their enemies found out he had dementia.”

“Dementia?” asked Dan skeptically.

“Yes, Dan. I’ve been working with him for months,” Linda answered completely serious now. She turned and grabbed his hand, looking him in the eyes, “be careful Dan, he’s frail. You’re not going to get much out of him.”

“I’ll talk to Dr. Garrity,” Linda continued, stepping back. “I’ll buy you as much time as I can.”

Left alone with the god, Dan chose to sit in a beach chair next to him, unsure of where he should start. This wasn’t a perp at the police precinct and he was pretty sure S.H.I.E.L.D. reserved god interrogations for Natasha. Still thinking to himself, he watched Odin pull out a small tube of sunscreen and start applying it to his bare arms. The Asgardian didn’t look that dangerous…

“Dr. Martin is an intelligent woman,” Odin’s stated absently in a dulcet tone. “I’ve learned a lot from her.”

After his heart re-started, Dan dared to look next to him only to see Odin’s slight grin and one good eye, which seemed to contain enough ancient knowledge to drive Dan insane, staring at him.

“Sooo,” Dan trailed off slowly before fortifying his resolve, “no dementia.”

“No,” Odin confirmed, his smile more teeth then pleasantness. “I broke free from Loki’s curse weeks ago.”

“But you stayed here…” Dan trailed off again, desperately trying to remember if this situation was covered in the S.H.I.E.L.D. handbook.

“Hmm,” Odin hummed before pursing his lips and staring into the ocean. “I thought about traveling to Norway where I once stayed many ages ago.”

After several moments of silence, Dan wondered if that was all the god was going to say when the Allfather spoke up again.

“Did you know that Asgard does not have this field of Psychology that Dr. Martin studies? There, afflictions of the mind are considered either curses or matters of will.” Odin mused before his laser focus turned back on Dan. “Doesn’t that seem – shortsighted to you?”

“Umm,” Dan stalled after he picked his jaw up from the floor. “I really couldn’t say.”

“Hmmph,” Odin responded before appearing to forget about the human entirely.

“Ah, sir,” Dan added trying to regain control of the situation, “perhaps I should introduce myself, I’m agent-”

“I remember you,” Odin cut him off. “You are the man Samael entrusted with the Mind Stone. I’ll admit with everything going on at that time, I had completely disregarded you and your people until after he handed the stone over. I wonder how many other mistakes I’ve made.”

“Right, well my people would really love to have a chat with you.” Dan moved to get up. “Maybe you could follo-” 

Odin’s hand clamped down around Dan’s wrist, stopping his speech and his movement. It didn’t quite feel like Thor’s electricity but it was something close. The mind stone burned against his chest. It felt like pins and needles ran over the surface of his brain. It wasn’t painfully, but it was fucking unpleasant. 

“I would really prefer not to,” Odin stated easily, studying the human. Dan gritted his teeth and fought the sensation. When Odin didn’t see the reaction he wanted, he let go.

“What the fuck-” Dan gasped, mind clear once again, before catching himself “-um, sir, was that?”

Ignoring the human’s question, Odin considered the situation, sighed, and decided he might as well try the truth.

“I'm getting old, barer-of-the-infinity-stone, and weaker,” Odin confessed. “I’ve made many mistakes with my children and I am afraid with my true death, one mistake in particular will threaten the entire universe, including this planet. It would be safer for everyone if my sons are here when I die. I only hope I can hold out that long.”

“You’re not talking in metaphors are you,” Dan sussed out, looking around at all the unsuspecting beach goers. “There is real danger in you dying, which could happen if say a S.H.I.E.L.D. team tried to, ah, relocate you.” 

“Yes,” Odin admitted. “I have found a small measure of peace here - the weather seems to help - and that will allow me to hold on longer.” 

“OK,” Dan nodded to himself before standing up and brushing off the sand that somehow clung to his pants. “We understand each other. I’ll be around.”

When Linda caught up with Dan again, she found him deep in thought, yards away from all the patients. She scanned the crowed and saw that Odin was smiling absently at the waves, none the worse for wear.

“You know-” Dan started, still thinking furiously. Linda waited for him to finish his thought. “-I don’t think he knows my name.”

Rolling her eyes, Linda scoffed, “Yes, Detective Espinoza dementia can do that to a person.”

Linda started the trek back to their cars over the hot sand.

“He knows your name,” Dan muttered to himself, before following her.

***

It was time! The long awaited vacation was here. Hawaii beckoned Dan with its waves, coconut drinks, and two full weeks with no devils, angels or aliens. #Bliss

He finally got enough airline points together for the trip, and he had no crime scenes or paperwork to deal with. Technically, Fury hadn’t given him leave to leave his post, but he also hadn’t said he couldn’t take a vacation, so…

Chloe’s map of Maze’s escapades through Canada had given Dan a brief pause, but Chloe assured him up and down that she already had someone on standby if Maze needed back-up and to not worry about anything. Dan didn’t even question who it could possibly be, he was so ready for a break.

He just had to swing by the psychiatric hospital and check in on Odin (Dan made it a habit to ensure Odin was still breathing over the past few weeks. Doing so without alerting S.H.I.E.L.D. was the true challenge, but so far no one from the agency seemed to notice anything) before his flight and he was all set.

It was on his way there after he caught sight of the hipster hobo and emo goth guy arguing outside of the hospital when his day dreams of quietly reading a nice book in a hammock shattered.

“No, no, no, no,” Dan moaned as he ran towards the duo, his Hawaiian shirt flapping in the wind and mind stone thudding on his chest. He didn’t even have his gun on him! How would he get his Mai Tai now?

***

Ex-Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. Nicholas Fury glared at the image on the screen in front of him. Choosing not to address it right now, he glanced at the latest report that had been slapped down in front of him by an irate Ex-Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Maria Hill whom he had all but kidnapped from the Stark-owned Ex-New Avengers Facility.

“Why has Canada declared war on the United States?” Fury asked running a hand down the side of his face, too tired to summon his usual ire. This was turning into Fury’s second “Big week.”

“The demon known as Mazikeen entered Canada under her guise as the bounty hunter Mazikeen Smith to track down a wanted criminal. Things went sideways,” Natasha Romanova, Ex-Avenger, stated as she smoothly slid into the room in her cat-suit. “Detective Chloe Decker called in Agent Roberta Roberts as back up for her, and that – was like throwing gasoline on a tanker explosion, sir.”

Nick Fury made a violent motion with his shoulders and arms expressing both his confusion and anger over Black Widow's factual but less than helpful response. His gesture seemed to say: someone please just dumb it down enough for him to get it before he decided to find out if putting bullets into the report would help. It was a very expressive movement.

“Agent Roberts, you know Bob, one of the resurrected agents and the leader of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Satanists you are always complaining about. Remember her?” Hill cut in shrilly before calming herself and continuing with only a trace of annoyance detected in her tone. 

“It turns out Mazikeen’s bounty was innocent and she had developed “feelings”-” Hill interjected actual bunny ears using her fingers when stating the word “-for the man. So when he was killed by the criminal organization that wanted to shut him up, Bob and a handful of other S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents were more than willing to follow Mazikeen’s rampage to root out the killers. We are still getting figures for the death toll.”

“In Canada’s defense, it looks like an American-based monster and team of beserkers were set lose in their country,” Natasha added thoughtful.

“Fix this,” ordered Fury pointing at Agent Coulson who was sitting in the corner doing paper work with the fallen Cherub, Spera, helping him. She wore a pair of reader glasses over her bulbous eyes.

“Already on it, sir,” Coulson answered, not even lifting his head up from the stack of papers and new reports in front of him.

“Are we going to talk about what happened in L.A.?” Maria Hill prodded.

The reports talked about an explosion and a half destroyed psychiatric hospital in the heart of the city, but so far no deaths. Someone had surreptitiously beefed up evacuation plans and first responder response times before the actual event. The plans had even accounted for strange weather patterns which means someone knew what was going to happen before it did. 

Fury would so very much like to find and strangle that someone, but that was turning into an entirely new problem.

“Agent Espinoza is still M.I.A. He never made it to his plane to Hawaii,” Hill added, shooting a quick glance at Natasha. 

Black Widow betrayed no emotion, but studied the image on the screen that took up an entire wall of the room.

Ah, the image, Fury was never going to live this one down (and if he wasn’t careful he wasn’t going live past this debriefing. Maria Hill had been furious when she realized that Dan Espinoza had tried to warn Fury about so many things, only to be ghosted by the ex-director. In fairness, Fury was aware Espinoza made valid –and obvious once stated out loud – points. But for most of the questions he asked, Fury simply didn’t even have the beginning of an answer to, and as a master spy, he didn’t like that feeling.) 

He stared hatefully at the screen.

Two civilians and Thor’s smiling face looked back at him. Loki was cut off, but still clear as day off to the side, rolling his eyes. Here it was, irrefutable proof that Loki was alive and well, obtained not by any covert surveillance, but by trolling an L.A. girl’s Instagram feed. The picture had already been turned into a meme and gone viral.

“Get rid of it,” Fury spoke gruffly, motioning at the screen. He was sick and tired of seeing the smug Asgardians’ faces.

“Wait,” Natasha called out, pointing at the upper left corner of the screen, “look.”

Maria Hill magnified that section of the image and enhanced the grainy resolution with Stark technology she had “borrowed”. And there he was, Agent Daniel Espinoza, wearing a bizarrely colorful shirt running towards the Asgardians.

Everyone in the room leaned in to get a closer looks.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything important,” a deep sensual voice resounded from behind them. “But I believe we are looking for the same thing.”

Within two seconds, every gun in the room was pointed at a- at a cape wearing man floating through a yellow portal. Nick Fury nearly groaned out loud. He wasn’t sure how, he wasn’t sure why, but he knew this had to somehow be Dan Espinoza’s fault.

“I am Dr. Stephen Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts,” the man continued unperturbed by all the firearms pointed at his direction as he floated over to the screen. “I keep a watch list of all individuals and objects from other realms that may be a threat to this world, and you’ve misplaced something very important.”

“Yeah, we get it,” Fury all but growled. He was pretty sure he had a file on this wizard somewhere, just another disaster to add to the list. “We lost the two Asgardian Princes, but you try to keep track of them.”

Dr. Strange tilted his head inquisitively at Fury.

“No Director Fury, I’m talking about this,” Dr. Strange spoke slowly like he was talking to a 5 year old while pointing at the yellow stone that clearly hung around Agent Espinoza’s neck. “It’s no longer on Earth.”

“Fuck,” Fury groaned tossing his gun on the table. There were not enough bullets in the world to fix this.


End file.
